weekend festivities!

this weekend probably should have consisted of me being shitfaced on somebodys lawn chair in somebodys backyard with some q. im happy to say the opposite.

i saw some people, went some places, had my own faux bbq (we live in an apt, not much room for a grill), and most importantly CHILLED. work is really exhausting throughout the week and the past couple of weekends i've been out and about, so i enjoyed the downtime this weekend.

i'm sure life will get more glamorous, in due time.

today

today, i had my best eyeliner day. (no raccoon eyes, no burning eyes, perfection!)
today, i felt no anxiety, hurt, or pain.
today, no texts from him.

tonight, i fell in love with aubrey graham even more.

don't worry, i'll send you a wedding invite ;]

saturday shennanigans

i had a BEYOND AWESOME saturday. i went to brooklyn to spend the day with my dad and it was just a humble and loving time. my dad and i have been estranged for a couple of months due to personal matters, but we've reconnected and yesterday i realized how much i missed him.

most of the time, we layed in bed and watched the cameroon vs. denmark game. world cup rules ALL right now, especially among haitians hahaa. we ate hunan shrimp (which was bombbbb) and chilled. of course i came home with an accompaniment of haitian patties and sweets, but that is my dad. happy father's day daddy, i love you.

then, later that night, my bosses daughter had her "sexy 17." most of the night i was helping out my boss, while the hs kiddies (haaa, im only 3 years older) were bent over and rubbin, dubbin, and lapdancin. but it seems like they had a good time, and the music was good, so it was a really cute night. it kinda allowed me to reminisce about the many bashments i went to when i was 16/17, great times ;]

im off to go eat some eats from the party last night, laterrr.

p.s. BRASIL is kickin cote d'ivoire ass right now, GOL!

concoctions!

last night i made the best smelling pomade ever! haha, okay, probably not the best ever made. but it did smell really good!! i was reading some blogs yesterday and found this really wonderful scalp treatment. i've suffered from severly dry scalp for several years, and although i have it under control now, it takes a lot of work to maintain.



this is my second time with senegalese twists (my transitioning protective style; about 35% natural now! haha) and i've been exercising regularly, so my hairline gends to get sweaty and my scalp loses moisture even quicker and get super dry.



i put my own spin on the treatment. i used organic, unrefined shea butter, warm olive oil, castor oil, lavender oil, and rosemary oil. omggg it smelled like heaven. you seriously only need 3 drops of the lavender oil and the whole area will smell like lavender! i put the treatment all over my head and left my hair in braids (then made a funky bantu-knot type thingy) and i can still smell the mixture. and my hair is not itchy or irritating, AT ALL.



so if there's any having scalp problems, definitely try this out. but be warned!! oils are not cheap and usually come in very small amounts, so be wise with your portions.



until next time.




http://http//www.kisforkinky.com/2010/05/how-do-i-get-my-scalp-back-to-normal-healthy-scalp-sprays-for-all/--> the site where i found the treatments =]

sometimes,

i love the rain.

but only the light, quiet type. this afternoon i walked home from work and it began to drizzle. i was kind of happy, mainly because i was carrying my umbrella around since last week and finally had the chance to use it. most times, i hate the rain.

the whole winter was nothing but rain, snow, rain, snow, hail, clouds, rain, snow. everytime it rains, i get this frightened feeling that winter is coming back for round II. the winter rain was obnoxious, loud, and messy.

but this afternoon rain was suprisingly relaxing and i found myself smiling all the way home.

in like.

so i like him. i've liked him for almost 2 weeks. for 1 week, i didn't think him liked me, and it made me like him even more.

monday, him asked me to spend the day with him. him did not say "let's chill" ( the first time i ever "chilled," i ended up on my back -_-) and that made me question him and his feelings.

but today, tuesday, i didn't know how to feel about him. him mentioned our "outing" and i said i would go. but now that i know him likes me, do i still like him? want him?

or maybe him just wants to go out as friends.

i hope i still like him.
something about him is different than the rest.

really though,

i didn't know that my prom dress meant so much to me. i mean, i really disliked prom, a lot. 2 years ago and i haven't worn the dress since.

yesterday, my mom tells me that her friend's daughter can't find a prom dress and wants to borrow mine.

WHAT THE FUCK!

first off, who asks to borrow a prom dress. that's like saying "hi, i know you bought this dress for your wedding, but i can't seem to find one, can i borrow yours?" seriously, i never heard of anybody wanting to BORROW somebeody else's prom dress. for most, when your a senior in high school, prom is pretty much the most highly anticipated event of the year. your telling me that of all the hundreds of boutiques and stores you can't find a dress that you like??

i mean, the dress shouldn't mean that much to me, but it does. it was pretty expensive, but pretty gorgeous. i don't even know if i'll ever wear it again, but i know i can't let it go.

i'll be seeing you.

I feel that sunday's are the best day for reflection haha. About two weekends ago, there was a "The Hills" marathon on MTV since this season is its last season. In high school I was so enthralled by Lauren and Heidi's drama, and so mad that they couldn't resolve the friendship. Watching the same episodes two weeks ago however, I saw it all from a different perspective.

Friendships, or i guess Relationships in general, are essential in making us who we are. But what happens when a relationship falls apart? The past two years have been very hard for me because I watched friendships I had deteriorate into nothing. I think the worst part was knowing that I wasn't cared for or appreciated anymore. Everyday, I would beat myself up for doing this and not doing that, and it would drive me crazy. Eventually though, and fortunately, I realized that living and thinking this way was extremely unhealthy and kinda obsessive.

So I decided to forgive. I decided to forgive myself for evil and childish things i've done. I've decided to forgive those who found it to best to desert me or "cut me off." Without forgiveness, your just consumed with hate and sadness and regret that you can do anything about. I chose to forgive because I was tired of living in my past self, I felt it was the best and only way to move forward.

To me, I felt that Lauren saw her relationship with Heidi the same way. She was grateful for the times they spent together, and had forgiven her for her wrongdoings. But she knew that they would never be friends again, because there are some things that can be fixed, and some things that you have to let go. And I have decided to let go, and I'm enjoying the beauty of loving and accepting myself for my faults and my past insecurities, and embracing this newly discovered person.

p.s. "I'll Be Seeing You" by Billie Holiday goes nice with this post, just sayin =]

hello freedom, kinda.

i haven't posted in a minuteeeeeeeeeeeeee, but im back! i finished my last final yesterday, but i don't really feel FREE yet. i still feel like i shouldn't be on here and maybe studying for somethin else haha, whatever, that'll fade soon enough.

so in the last couple of weeks, i got senegalese twists in my hair. i'm currently transitioning and i wanted a nice summer style that would protect my hair and be fun. I LOVE IT, i will be wearing these a lot. hmmmm, ooooh! i got a job!!!! my friend and I were supposed to go job shoppin this weekend, and i'll be startin work on monday, crazyy. its an office job, so im sure i'll be posting a lot just out of boredom -_- haha.

andddddd, thats it for now, but im really ready for summer, seriously.

today

today, i saw a guy wearing bermuda shorts, and i liked it.
today, it felt good not to worry about tracks when the wind blew.
today, im confident in my work.
today, was good.

tomorrow?

buy me a spaceship and fly

i'm listening to Kanye West's "Spaceship" and this song reminds me SOO much of the slave ship, the hell hole, or ZARA.

"if my manager assaults me again, i will be assaulting him..."

i miss cashier-ing and my discrepances.

mmmm, only a little.

Hair Woes

i can't deal with this damn hair no longer, no longer.
i said i can't deal with this damn hair no longer, no longer, no longerrrrrrr.
fin.

i've had my full head weave in for almost 2 months now and I'm sick and tired of it. can't wait to get my twists!!

but until then, i'll be singin my sad sad song.

YES WE CAN!

so the health care bill has been PASSED! this means that by 2014 every American will have health insurance/aid in some form. I cannot believe it took us this long to get to this point, but I'm so happy that our fabulous president made this remarkable step in the highly-discussed "change" of our nation. and, i get to stay on my mom's healthcare til im 26 woohoo! haha but definitely go to cnn.com or any other credible website or newschannel to find out more about the new bill and how it will affect you.

market, market, market!

so last night i took my first visit to trader joe's and... I LOVE IT!! there's a store about 8 minutes away from where I live, but I never went, and I was truly missing out. The store is quite small, I dont know if all of them are like that, but its size had me suspect because I figured there was gonna be nothing in there. But good things do indeed come in small packages. I was practically "ooh-ing" and "aah-ing" at everything. My mom and I spent two hours in there and we got SO much stuff for SO much money haha. And by the time I got home, I wanted to eat every single thing that we bought, even though it was like 10 o'clock at night.

This is the Vanilla Almond Granola Cereal that I bought last night and is my new favorite cereal. I really love granola, and if anybody else loves it as much as I do, you will definitely enjoy it =] Along with cereal, I bought some juice (not from concentrate), yogurt, pasta, bacon (mmmmmm), organic popcorn, mint ice cream, spices, and a whole lot more. I'm trying to eat healthier, for the most part, and not consume as much harmful ingredients that are present in a lot of processed foods. So, if your looking to establish a more organic lifestyle, or just interested in exploring the store, I highly recommend it!

p.s. If you don't have this store in your neighborhood, there are plenty of other organic-based markets, such as Whole Foods, and even farmers markets, which are small, outdoor markets.

saturday shennanigans

i just finished a walk/workout/relationship counseling with my good friend Ketsie. we've been friends since 97, now thats tight. the friendship has fluctuated over the years, but its weird going a day not talking or texting to her haha. i've been listening to "Paris (Aeroplane Remix)" by Friendly Fires since last night, LOVE LOVE this song. you can hear it in the new Adidas commercial also. i think im gonna stop now before i get sick of it, nooooo =[ maybe a little kanye will do.

right now, the hardest thing for me to do is letting go. im trying, im trying. its getting easier, it was harder to stomach a couple of months ago, but as time progresses, things change. people change. i change. as of now, i declare myself done worrying about the past and why it isn't my present. its time to move on. kiss-ass kim with no backbone is going, going, gone. goodbye.

i went to the gyno for the first time yesterday.

OMGGGGGGWTFWTFWTFWTFAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAH!

it felt like i was losing it all over again.

Poor Girl

You've got another love
and I know it
Someone who adores you
just like me
Hanging on your words
like they were gold
Thinking that she understands
your soul
Poor Girl
Just like me.

You're breaking another heart
and I know it
And there's nothing
I can do
If I try to tell her
what I know
She'll misunderstand
and make me go
Poor Girl
Just like me.

You're going to leave her too
and I know it
She'll never know
what made you go
She'll cry and wonder
what went wrong
Then she'll begin
to sing this song
Poor Girl
Just like me.

Maya Angelou

i've began baking. biggest reason: i have an incessant sweet tooth, and i'm tired of always buying oreos, filled with crazy calories haha. these are my take on sweet cinammon rolls.

the MONSTER reigns.

So, Lady Gaga's highly anticipated "Telephone" video premiered on thursday. I might be biased in my opinion, (love me some GAGA!) but I really enjoyed the video. When I first saw 9:32 at the bottom of the screen, I thought maybe it was gonna be some extremely drawn out mediocre mess, I mean the song is only 4 minutes long! But it was definitely entertaining and took an artistic approach that I guess most aren't comfortable with, or just find weird as hell. But it is a continuation from paparazzi, so to me it made perfect sense. I loved how Gaga was able to not take herself too seriously, adding the line "I told you she didn't have a dick," which alluded to the highly publicized rumor that she was a hermaphrodite.

And I definitely loved it WAY more than video phone. That video was too much of a mess that made no sense. "Telephone" had a clear direction, a great concept, the choreography was alright, but the fashion was crazy! Another hit!

p.s. Kill Bill is one of my favorite movies, so the pussy wagon was alright with me ;]

hoorah!

midterms are DONE! like 300 elephant pounds off my shoulders. only thing in way of me and my spring break is this essay.



>:0 times a million.

so, its 2:42 on a beautiful sunday afternoon. i'm inside, bleh. but i have 3 tests coming up this week, so i guess its necessary. i need to paint my nails, i need some color back in my life.

okay, so im gonna start gettng knee-deep in some personality chapters, ugggh.

long time no see is a bit of an understatement.

wow, so it's been awhile. but it's not like i haven't been writing on my "break" from this blog. i've skipped around to other blogs and sort of left my mark on each of them. however, i've decided to return here, to me beginnings. looking back on my previous posts, i smile. what i wrote was pretty cute, and i enjoyed it.

im a sophmore at NYU now, on the pre-med track. major? i was gung-ho about psychology until the start of my World Cultures:Africa class, where my perspectives began to change. this class is inspiring, insightful, and a joy to commute 2 hours for. well, maybe not a joy, but it's definitely worth it. passionate professors make for an unforgettable learning experience. not to mention, it's rather interesting and probably the most enjoyable of all my classes thus far.

i'm growing, i think. no, i am. i cook now, i love it. im a food network junkie and i LOVE to bake, although i destroy the whole kitchen with my experiments haha. i think it's about time that i become the young woman that i envision myself to be. well-rounded, intelligent, fun, quirky, eccentric, motivated, clean, healthy, mature, happy, outgoing, and drama-free. yes, always have to make sure to exclude the grossness that is drama.

it feels good to be back.